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My Adventures in Anxiety During the Merriest Time of the Year
It was Thanksgiving morning. I got up to get the meal going and I stood in the kitchen shaking. My hands were trembling. My anxiety was through the roof. The holidays are known to be stressful, especially for moms. Planning merriment for a large family can suck the life out of an already worn out woman. If the kids don’t feel fed, loved and heaped in family traditions during this time of year, it’s mom’s fault right? We make the menus, plan a service project, make the gift lists, make the gift-giving for kids appear evenly dispersed monetarily. We try to decorate according to Pinterest standards, bake goodies for neighbors,…
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My journey to the magic Oprah Winfrey and back
I watched her from the beginning. From 1986 to 2011 she was my guru. She was everyone’s guru. The Oprah Winfrey show was part of my daily routine, especially after I started having kids. The days were long and sometimes lonely and she was like a friend in my living room. I sat and nursed every one of my babies, changed their diapers, and dried their tears while watching, listening, and learning. I sat in awe, and envy as I saw women get makeovers, win ALL her favorite things, be enveloped in her magic. She was magic. Even though her daily life didn’t resemble mine at all, she was relatable…
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Missing the boat (literally) and what we learned about love
We sat at a McDonalds somewhere in Los Angeles, Calif. area. I was at one table, my entire family at another. I was fuming. I was in disbelief this was happening. And I was angry at everyone. Months earlier I had planned for this day and THIS was not the plan. Every year we had some sort of family vacation. Some big some small. It was usually the beach, mountains, or amusement park. This time we planned something new. A family cruise. With one son out of the country, we would not all be there. But we decided once the kids were adults, we couldn’t keep from having fun and…
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20 years after miscarriage: The trauma then and now
I had four beautiful kids. Girl, boy, girl, boy. As a family we were young, poor, and happy. It was perfect really. We could be done adding to our brood. Little did I know I was tempting fate by wanting another. I really wanted another girl. And of course, with my blessed track record, I knew it would happen. We never had trouble getting pregnant. My husband Robert and I simply had to be in the same room. So, a few months before our youngest was 3 yrs old, we were expecting another. I sailed through as usual with just a little morning sickness and exhaustion. Then at about 12…