Missing the boat (literally) and what we learned about love

We sat at a McDonalds somewhere in Los Angeles, Calif. area.

I was at one table, my entire family at another.

I was fuming. I was in disbelief this was happening. And I was angry at everyone.

Months earlier I had planned for this day and THIS was not the plan.

Every year we had some sort of family vacation. Some big some small. It was usually the beach, mountains, or amusement park. This time we planned something new. A family cruise. With one son out of the country, we would not all be there. But we decided once the kids were adults, we couldn’t keep from having fun and planning our life because someone was missing.

I found a cruise that would take us off the coast of California to Catalina Island and then to Ensenada, Mexico. We would get on the ship in Long Beach, Calif. only a few hours from our home.

The five kids, ages 14-27, had never been on a cruise, but Robert and I had and loved it. So I bought the rooms, bought the extras, bought some excursions and looked forward to neverending food, fun and a few days with my family. The vacation money was spent and then some.

I was LOVING this plan because I didn’t have to do anything but tell the kids what to pack. There were three living at home at the time and two coming from out of state that arrived on Sunday, the day before we had to be on the ship.

I looked at the maps app many times before the trip. It was a 4 hr drive to Long Beach. From previous experience, I knew it was hard to get my big brood going. I told them we had to leave no later than 9 am Monday. We’d be on the ship in plenty of time for the 5 pm departure time.

Monday morning arrived.

Some were not packed.

Some were running errands.

9 am came and went. I looked at the maps app and I started to feel anxious. I had not accounted for this Monday in particual. I had missed something important.

It was Memorial Day.

It said it was now a 5.5 hr drive to our destination.

Okay. We still had time. We could do this.

We finally took off in our two cars. A girl car and a boy car. We were singing, car dancing and feeling optimistic. We were on the road for less than 30 min. when traffic came to a full stop. The maps app only caused angst. Traffic was backed up for miles with several accidents up ahead.

The time to get to Long Beach grew exponentially. We were literally only moving a few miles in an hour. My hands gripped the wheel tight, and the veins in my neck stood out as I tried to will the traffic to move.

I called customer service at the cruise line. What was the latest we could be there? I knew they couldn’t wait for us, but just maybe, if they knew we were coming and trying our hardest something could be done. The customer service lady was nice. So, so nice and empathetic. But empathy didn’t make the traffic disappear or the ship keep their doors open.

It finally reached the point, that even if a miracle happened, we would never get there by the time the doors to the ship closed at 5pm.

What was supposed to be a 4 hr hour drive was almost an 8 hour drive into Southern Calif.

We had only stopped once very quickly to use a bathroom and had packed no food. We were starving. We pulled into the McDonalds.

I had no desire to talk to anyone. This was their fault. If we had left when I wanted, we might have made it. This was on them and I was going to shut them out and make then pay for it with my dirty looks.

Then there was laughing. From my table of sadness, I saw my family sitting together and laughing. There wasn’t crying or anger. There were smiles, talking and joking around. There was joy.

At that moment I felt like the Grinch that stole Christmas when his heart melted. My heart softened and grew bigger as I saw my kids not caring that we were at a random McDonald’s instead of a luxurious cruise ship buffet. They just loved being together.

If they weren’t going to be grumpy. Neither was I.

On my phone, I quickly found a hotel that would fit us comfortably for the week and booked it. I went to the happy table and told them the vacation didn’t have to be over. I could literally see the relief in their eyes that I wasn’t going to completely lose it. I told them I had a credit card and we were going to make the best of it.

And we did.

We decided to spend the week in L.A. area doing things we had not done before. We went to a natural history museum, an observatory, Universal Studios and the beach. We hung out in the hotel hot tub every night, we ate lots of good food, watched movies and played games.

Just recently my son said it was the best vacation of his life!

It could have been a disaster. It could have been me not talking to my husband for a week. It could have been me being resentful to everyone for a long, long time. But we chose love instead of hate. We ALL chose it. Not just me. There was no blaming or shaming for why we didn’t make it on the ship. There was no finger pointing. It didn’t matter. We couldn’t change it.

Yes, we would have had fun on the cruise. It probably would have been a blast. But I believe what we learned that week was so much more important. We learned we had a choice. We had a choice to love and be happy no matter the circumstances. We learned we loved being together no matter what we were doing.

And we learned that next time we plan a cruise, we’ll camp out over night, 10 ft from the ship doors.