My journey to the magic Oprah Winfrey and back

I watched her from the beginning.

From 1986 to 2011 she was my guru. She was everyone’s guru.

The Oprah Winfrey show was part of my daily routine, especially after I started having kids. The days were long and sometimes lonely and she was like a friend in my living room. I sat and nursed every one of my babies, changed their diapers, and dried their tears while watching, listening, and learning.

I sat in awe, and envy as I saw women get makeovers, win ALL her favorite things, be enveloped in her magic. She was magic. Even though her daily life didn’t resemble mine at all, she was relatable as a woman.

In 1995 we moved to the Chicago suburbs for my husband’s schooling. I told people we were moving to be closer to Oprah and that I would send their love. We had 3 kids under the age of 5. I was home without a car for a lot of those days. But I still had HER. And the magic was being made at her studio less than 30 miles from my house.

We were not moved in for too long, and I was watching Oprah per usual, when I heard something during commercial breaks, I had not heard before…”if you live in the Chicago area and would like to attend a live taping of the show tomorrow, call this number…”

WHAT?!

Like, I call and say I want to see the show and just like that I would get in? Tomorrow?!? So, living closer to Oprah DID have its perks. I thought there were years-long waiting lists to get into the audience. Apparently, if they had seats to fill, us “locals” got a crack at it.

I had no idea of the what, where, and hows but I was going to make it happen. I called the number. I was very nervous, like Oprah herself would be answering the phone. She did not.

I made the reservations for the next day, called my sister-in-law, Alison, who was a couple of hours away in Michigan, and got her on board with a plan. We had 7 kids between us. How would we make this work? I found a friend who was willing to take our 3 youngest. The rest would be in school.

It was happening.

Now, what would I wear? What did I want Oprah to see me in? I wanted her to like me and to know at one glance we would be best friends. I tried on clothes nervously like it was going to affect my future with Oprah.

I decided to go with some kind of jeans, a white shirt, and a navy blazer. Classic yet casual. Unassuming. Not flashy. Sensible.

Alison picked me up, we dropped off the kids to my friend, thanking her profusely, and drove into Chicago. We were novices in the Windy City but made our way to find parking and found the other Oprah fans waiting in line outside the studio. There was a lot of nervous energy. I knew a lot of these devotees had traveled for hours and days to be here.

We were herded through a waiting room with pics and memorabilia and into the studio. Of course it looked smaller in person. There were several sections of stadium seating. As the rows filled up, Alison and I were separated. It was a big bummer. All the hype and prep and I was sitting amongst strangers. But we were united in our love of HER and that’s all that mattered.

We did not know yet what the show was about or had we seen Oprah, or even Gayle for that matter. It’s all a bit blurry now. But Oprah came out, we clapped, cheered, and honored her presence. She of course does not have time to acknowledge each of us, find out our stories, our whys of being there. She got down to the business of her show and guests.

This particular show was about women who had lost weight and were trying things for the first time like roller coasters, new clothes, getting new wedding pics, etc… A lot was pre-taped. Yes, it was fascinating to see how the magic was made. Yet seeing it in person, it didn’t feel so magical.

During the breaks, I wanted, I needed more Oprah interaction. There were no dance parties, no music, no games like you see now on talk shows. I just wanted more connection. It didn’t happen. I realized then, that she was human. Yes, I believed and still do, Oprah had a gift for storytelling, getting people to open up and presenting herself honestly and authentically.

But there in the studio, I saw her, maybe a little tired, a little burned out. She was not infallible. Nor was she the Energizer bunny. Still, I loved being there and yes, getting my face on the screen. The camera panned across my very unenthusiastic looking, unsmiling face, and showed me clapping with that same amount of low energy. My husband has NEVER let me live it down.

I actually took an opportunity and went a second time with some friends. I was an expert by now obviously. I can’t even tell you what that show was about or if I got on camera. The thrill had worn off.

After those experiences, I still watched her every day. I still loved her. But something about it had lost its magic for me, just a bit. I had seen the cameras, the cue cards, and the inner workings. I had seen behind the curtain.

I was sad when she went off the air. It’s like I lost a friend that kept me company during the hard days. She opened my eyes to so many off-limit topics and was the queen of female empowerment.

I am forever grateful for my time with her. For our imagined bond and sisterhood. For the dreams, she helped me dream and for the magic, she brought in my life.