Parenting

It’s About Time

January 30, 2020 /

Welcome to Linda 2020! I’m so excited for this writing journey again. I used to write and be funny and I loved it! I made virtual friends and went to blogging conferences. Then for no good reason I lost my mojo. But I’m back baby! I’m ready to share some sometimes serious and not so serious looks into my thoughts and my life. And it’s about damn time!

I’ve been thinking A LOT about time lately. How in adolescents time was all about me, me, me. Then after taking on the making of and raising of other human beings, the time was all about them. There was never enough time. The time was too early in the morning or too late in the evening. Or the time was 3 am with a crying child and I thought I would never have the time to sleep again. And yes, part of me misses that even more than young tired Linda thought she would. Then, when my kids were teenagers, I was running out of time with them. Time was spent fighting, crying, hugging, driving, supporting. Did I take enough time to teach them everything they needed to survive adulthood?

Now, it’s a weird time for me, because I have it. I have time. I didn’t think women were ever supposed to have it. I feel guilty for having it. What am I not doing that I’m supposed to be doing, so I can say, “I’m so busy, I don’t have time. My kids are older. They don’t need hand holding, butt wiping, bath time (though I still have to beg the 15 yr old to shower), playdates, ballet lessons etc… “

I still have mom/housewife/domestic diva duties. The orthodontic and dentist appointments, carpool, cleaning etc… I can basically do those in my sleep and sometimes I do. And now I face the clock with new eyes. Time is actually mine! What do I want to do?

I used to think I could be satisfied being a lady who lunched. And I DO love lunches. I love getting my nails done, pedicures, watching reality TV in the middle of the day (Real Housewives of Las Vegas? I’m waiting for the call). But now, I’m looking for more. My bouts of anxiety and depression, excuses and sweaty head seem to keep me from fully committing to something. So I write. I will keep writing as I examine my hot life and what the next step is. Welcome to this hot mess of a journey.

Back when there was no time. I was shoulder high in babies, grubby hands, wet kisses, lots of tears (mostly mine) and lots of love.

10 Comments

  • Jana Hobbs

    January 30, 2020 at 1:52 am Reply

    Love your honesty girl. I hear you. I is so nice to hear that there is someone else out there feeling the same way I do. My girls have both moved out and now the reality of the empty nest is real. And it isn’t always easy , feeling like you said almost guilty for having all this time on my hands , and wondering what the hell to do with it all ! 😂. Thanks for sharing

  • Janeen Brooks

    January 30, 2020 at 2:22 am Reply

    I think it’s great that you’re sharing all of this because you’re not alone so many of us moms who have kids that have flown the coop sometimes long for the days of old when our kids were little and scurrying around the house making it feel full of love and life. It’s a very strange thing to have an empty nest for me life quickly filled in the gaps with grandkids and a stepdaughter. Grandkids are definitely the greatest dividend in life. Keep sharing you have a lot to share with the world and so many people feel alone in the struggle and your words could make them feel a little less lonely.😘

  • Brooke

    January 30, 2020 at 5:37 am Reply

    Awww this got me all in my feels. You are so good at writing , I was very into this and felt all the emotions! You are the cutest and I love this blog! And that picture is the best thing ever 😍

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *